In my younger days, there used to be a playground that I would play in. The equipment were relatively new but often used by the students that came to the school grounds every day. The only time we were allowed to use the playgrounds were after lunch, where we were given 1 hour of freedom.
On the left, next to the grassy soccer fields, was where the playground was situated. It was a sandy area, where we could shape the dirt and get our hands dirty. The fine sand would always shine in the sun, and if you looked at it closely, you could see that there were slightly larger chunks of crystalline rock particles mixed in that gave off a pink hue.
In the playground, the two yellow and red colored straight slides were always being occupied, but the blue spiral slide was by far the most popular. In order to get to these slides, there were several obstacles to overcome, which differed depending on the route. One way was to go up the stairs, and simply climb to the top. But next to the wooden steps, there was a net made out of white, coarse rope that was just the right size to grab and climb up. From there, there were two choices. One was to crawl through the large, plastic tunnel, and another was to go across 'the plank', a wooden bar that was only connected with rope. The ropes made it unstable, so the utmost caution was needed to maintain balance and get across. From there, it was a confusing path of ducking and weaving through the complicated wooden panels that you had to hoist yourself through in order to slide down to the bottom and start again.
To the side of the sandy field, there was a small wood, made of a few grand, aromatic pine trees growing next to the fence. In one place, the wooden planks made a corner that was slightly hidden from view, which soon became a great meeting place. When we found this place, we gathered the brown, fallen pine leaves in the vicinity and formed it into a nest shape, big enough for four 3rd graders to sit down and be comfortable in. The inside of the next was generously strewed with leaves and pine needles as well, so that we wouldn't feel the cold seeping up from the ground. The bright yellow rays from the sunlight filtered in through the vivid viridian canopy, which gave us plenty of light to work by. Once we finished our work, it became our regular meeting place after lunch.
Now, the playground that I remember is occupied by other students who are just as eager to use this playground as their area of freedom. But even so, it will still be an important place to me because there were so many precious memories tied into this place, where I spent most of my childhood at.
1. What did you like best about this essay? Be as specific as possible.ReplyDelete
I like this essay because write described what playground looked like very in detail.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly? List any parts that were not clear to you.
It was very clear.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different sense? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
- The bright yellow rays from the sunlight filtered in through the vivid viridian canopy,
- two yellow and red colored straight slides were always being occupied, but the blue spiral slide was by far the most popular
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
exciting, enjoyable, vibrant
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
Writer wrote about playground because she had many precious memories in this place during her childhood.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises? Make only one suggestion.
Every detail was very vivid, but it might be better to describe playground using other senses like smell or sound.