tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9194298662561862122.post5054571044078233789..comments2023-05-03T03:20:29.092-07:00Comments on Intermediate Writing (2) Fall 2013 5-6: Kim Sumi/My experience/Tue 56profjbhhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06809066317885065503noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9194298662561862122.post-55462882698313460672013-09-28T10:20:02.224-07:002013-09-28T10:20:02.224-07:00The Kick Scooter
When I try to do something but i...The Kick Scooter<br /><br />When I try to do something but it does not work well, I usually end up throwing a huge tantrum. And yes, I still do that even though I am 20 year-old now. The process is that I get so frustrated with myself being helpless and I begin to get angry more and more. And it all started quite early, when I was just 7. At that time, a kick scooter was popular among Korean kids. My brother and I became fascinated too, so we asked mom eagerly to buy us one. So one weekend, mom took me and my brother to Emart and bought us two shiny new kick scooters. Excited, my brother and I dashed to the outside and stepped on to the kick scooter.<br /><br />I glanced at my brother doing well on his kick scooter at the first try and I tried to ride mine as well. But sadly – being the poor athlete of family, I just could not ride like him. I kept failing to balance one foot on the deck in order to push off the ground with another. I tried and tried, but it was no use. The kick scooter did not went forward an inch. Few minutes later, mom called us to go home, and I followed my family only after throwing a big tantrum.<br /><br />When we got home, I went outside again and started to ride the kick scooter around the apartment. I just could not stand being unable to ride the brand-new kick scooter, so I decided to practice. But of course, it was not much different from before. My feet still will not move separately. They really did not seem to follow my brain’s order. I started to feel angry again. “Why can’t I do this, why?” I said to myself, falling to the ground for hundredth time.<br /><br />I hissed loudly. I screamed silently. I shed angry tears and I blamed my legs for being useless. As for legs, they were getting purple more and more, especially on the knees. I felt like everything around me was laughing at me, and it did not help the situation at all. “That’s it. I’m not going to ride this stupid kick scooter.” I thought like this at least a dozen times. “Well – just one more try and I’m done with it,” And this, also a dozen. So one became two, two became ten and ten became a setting sun…<br /><br />“Sumi, come inside! Dinner is ready!”<br /><br />Crickets started to sing and the shadow of the trees blurred to the darkness. It was getting late. My mom called me from the brightly lit window. But I did not respond for a while, as it was a monumental moment. “Mom, come and look!” I shouted with an evident pride in my voice. My mom came out wondering. Against the scarlet sunset, I stepped onto the kick scooter, pushed off the ground with one foot, and glided gracefully towards my mom. “Oh, look at you!” Mom said with delight. “You finally did it!” I grinned from ear to ear, forgetting all the bruises I had got from the day’s practice.<br /><br />Since then, even after the kick scooter, I have been frustrated with all kinds of things – flute, book art, a particularly hard math problem, baking, electric guitar and much more. And I still act as same as when I was 7, all hysteric and that. But when the task in front of me seems impossible and I just want to give up, the childhood memory of glorious success sometimes comes into my mind. ‘Well, back then it seemed impossible too, but I succeeded. Why not this?’ I think to myself. So my first big tantrum – which ironically became my first big achievement as well – inspires me to think positively, propelling me to push off the ground and go forward.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9194298662561862122.post-71161236539223485122013-09-24T09:00:49.992-07:002013-09-24T09:00:49.992-07:00To: Kim Sumi
From: Wonpil Lee
Commented with p. 53...To: Kim Sumi<br />From: Wonpil Lee<br />Commented with p. 53 feedback form<br /><br />a. One detail that made this experience seem real is your vivid description at the last moment in which you finally did it.<br /><br />b. There was no confusing part.<br /><br />c. Your first paragraph is not bad. It has some kind of background information for this story. It is good. And I would like to recommend you adding some kind of HOOK; for example, the scene you are struggling to control the kickboard.<br /><br />d. You used present tense in some quotations. I think it is appropriate. There is no place that should be changed.<br /><br />e. If you revise this work, I would like to know more about the response of your brother. What did he say to you, when you achieved.<br /><br />Thank you for your positive story. I really enjoyed it. Bye.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9194298662561862122.post-68280953932188122332013-09-22T07:31:16.808-07:002013-09-22T07:31:16.808-07:00Hi, Sumi. I pay tribute to your strong will that n...Hi, Sumi. I pay tribute to your strong will that never gave up. What I like most about your writing is that you used some direct quotations, which make your story more real. I like the phrase, 'glided gracefully towards my mom.' It feels like a scene from some movie or animation. Good job. I love your story. <br /><br />Joonseong JeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9194298662561862122.post-26734756689258482552013-09-22T02:01:00.027-07:002013-09-22T02:01:00.027-07:00To Kim Sumi From Jina Park
What I like about this ...To Kim Sumi From Jina Park<br />What I like about this piece of writing is I like kick borad, too.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com